On Healthcare?
Yes on healthcare, of course-
What about healthcare?
All about healthcare, All-
Ways All about healthcare Always.
In so many ways- NO,
All Ways-
Healthcare is an issue that is in the Southern most
State of my
Mind.
The Southern most State
(of my mind)
is filled with fear, and
Doubt, and
It lets me go On and
On and
On
Making this crappy
Poetry-
And
In some ways,
Well actually;
All ways-
Im really very worried, and
Not just about
Myselfmyselfmyselfmyselfmyself
But the W H O L E
Country, the
Whole healthcare issue-
The hole healthcare is-
And we have watched it
Become,
Became,
Began as-
Began as what?
We used to have integrity
(as a country)
We used to give a
Shit.
Get this-
Honestly,
The whole reason,
That this Whole Hole issue,
In the Whole Holey Healthcare issue,
Is even such an issue for me,
Is because of all the medicine ations-
Or medications- or whatever,
That I am supposed to
Take
Take
Take
Many many many Times-
EVERYDAY,
For My
Bi Polar
Dis Order- Or
Whatever.
Its dawning has now become,
A Tangible thing for
Me.
And, sometimes- I am even
The Master,
But,
Mostly Not.
I can feel and,
Be aware of-
This shift in my chemical
IMBAlance.
From the depths of a crippleing
Low-
To a fluid and semi-controlled,
Extravagantly painted,
Euphorically laced state-
Of mania.
I can even feel myself write
Faster,
And I can barely grasp the
Concept-
Of this very poem.
Fleeting notions-
Both abstract, and
SEMI-logical-
Are Shot from the cusp of
My brain, and
Into my eyes
(where they can be lost
very easily) And
This shift of states,
-if you will-
feels like something I
Can control,
But when it shifts back
The other way,
I will think-
Alright than DIPSHIT, If you
Can control this,
Than just stop feeling this way.
Just go ahead, and try.
And I will wonder,
In the pit of my gloomy slump-
WHY,
I cant,
Just Try.
But I should probably introduce myself before
I get into all this personal stuff.
“My Name is Joe,”
(“Hi Joe,”
Sighed the other displaced loons)
“And I have a Bi Polar Disorder…”
It was O.K. though,
Because,
They all had one too.
Others even had two, or
Three of them.
When they started comparing sizes,
I decided to leave.
And after I left, I began to
Think about what was right.
And what was right,
Seemed to be no longer left
But in its place, there
Was A Void.
Avoid, I remember thinking-
At all costs-
A trip to the Doctor
Since-
Insurance will no longer cover
You. I wondered though,
If in their GIANT computer syster,
My Absence-
Had left A Void?
A Void? My mother asked,
That’s impossible, Rose gave me the
Check on Sunday,
And said-
That we shouldn’t cash it til Tuesday-
Its Wednesday night,
We SHOULD be fine!
Sonofabitch (my father defeatedly
Sighed)
Workmans comp. dosent get here
Until Monday at least-
We have to pay for Amandas field trip,
And we NEED to pick up
Your meds,
You cant go another day without
Them,
This is ridiculous…
And at the time, I can even
Remember,
Not
Understanding how anyone
Could ever
NEED-
A Pill.
An ever frustrating contrast
To my –Now-
All too real Understanding
Of mental disorders.
Dis- ordered
Disorder- disorder- dis-order,
WHO- ordered this anyways?
And why?
I certainly didn’t, can I
Take it back, or,
Return it for store credit?
Can I UN-order it, or
DIS-order it?
I'm sure not.
I slip at having to use such terms-
And they wonder why I would never
Talk to those people?
Those fucking people-
With their presumptuous
Tones, and the
Mockingly infantile color
Schemes- Displaced puzzle
Toys working as cheap metaphors
For their personality-
And they keep talking in
Circles- aroundandaroundandaroundandaro
Their a politician who actually gets paid,
To care about your life.
And the cicular questions only provide
A Venue, for
You, (as the actor)
And I don’t perform well under these circumstances;
Im always busy wondering if these
People ever even
Have Hot Dirty
Sex?
Is there possibly some dark unseen
Animal Interior-
Beneath the guise of this- neatly manicured/early 40’s/ letting herself go lately/ ready for her 11:00 yogurt- Façade;
That might allow her to explore her
Curious fascination with Anal
Sex, and if so,
Would she-
Like all good employees-
Wash her hands before returning
To work?
Maybe so,
It probably depends on where you go.
My mother, wisely-
Taught me the nature of these slow
Moving currents early on.
I am not a morning person, so it pays
To do your math twice in
This situation.
The Milwaukee County Mental Behavioral
Health Center, or as the
“regulars” or “loons” call it:
“County”- opens the clinic doors at
8:00 am
This is when and where you came if you
Were a disorderEE,
Without health insurance.
When the doors open at 8, there
Is usually a line of at least
15-20 “regulars”
Already waiting.
You know they are regulars, cause
They know how early you need to be
There, in order to
“ BE SEEN,” (as if their merely
Laying eyes upon you were a blessing)
The regulars all know their
Numbers, and they know
The odds, and the figures
And, their knowledge of this system-
is no longer a burden, but-
a way of life.
When the doors open at 8, the
House releases their odds (usually
The same or very near)
“The Doctor will only have time today
To see 6 people…”
the nurse is
Accustomed to the heavy sighs,
Urgent protests, and
Elaborate stories that proceed.
Some people listen to the drone of
the A/C at work, or
the static of their C.B.,
While-
these people, listen to the drone ramblings
of people with O.C.D.-
or P.T.S.D,
and given enough
time-
I bet its easy to
ignore.
My mother (and most of the time,
Me) would stay up all
Night, (so we wouldn’t sleep in)
And be to County between
5:00 and 5:30 (equipped with
Coffee and a good book)
To make sure we were among the
First three in line, and as
8:00 calmly approaches, and the
line grows to slowly wrap around the
corner; layers of differing
tones of chatter grow upon themselves-
like mold on the caffeteria
oranges- and everyone participates
in this social exchange of gripe;
Particularly the people beyond the tenth
spot in the line, from the
vaugely functional, just- got- this- job- and- cant-
offord- to- lose- it, DisorderEE’s,
to the
Dis-functional, just- released- orange- bracelet-
Brand,
of Dis-orderEE’s-
And everyone of them knows, the way
It will go (County bookies say odds are as
Unfavorable as 100-1 against the
Doctor having time to get to
A #10 spot)
But these displaced Gamblers regard
The odds as merely,
Medical rhetoric; because
somehow-
Their case is different,
And the fact that their issue, Simply
Cannot wait another day; Simply means
Just that,
And it,
Thust forth-
MUST be added to todays list
Of “Things To Do.”
Oh,
But Poor Naïve Loon,
You simply must know,
Somewhere in there,
That-
These things only equate as
Concrete,
In the mind of a
DisorderEE,
and not the
Mind of a Doctor, or
Politician, or
President;
Or probably even your
Neighbor-
But,
You never know,
and
Its best not to be
Presumptuous.
This whole holey healthcare
Issue-
Holey Healthcare ANXIETY,
Holey Healthcare FEAR,
Holey Healthcare OPPRESSION,
This WHOLE HOLEY HEALTHCARE HEIARCHY!
What would A.G. say about
This?
Not my beligerent
Ramblings, but-
Holey Healthcare?!
Is americas Crusty,
Callow, Core- Really so far
Removed- as to have
Michael Moore have to remind
Us of our Human
Rights?
This aside from our
Already forgotten
Responsibilities?
Generations of them will
Come- Become,
Became- Income,
Re-veal, Re-Veil;
Going,
Going,
Going-
GONE.
A Void being transcribed
Into the abyss
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